Brief Character List

Addison

A younger actor whose career is going well. He's a good at what he does but he's currently love sick for his ex, Helena, and this is affecting his ability to prepare. He starts off in denial about his feelings but they steadily get worse as the show progresses.

Assistant

Lives for the sole purpose of making Parker's life easier. She is to Parker what Marcie is to Peppermint Patty in Peanuts. She's not a kiss up but she does live to serve. In her eyes Parker (whom she always addresses as "Sir") She's very quick on her feet and very seldomly has to stop to think.

Barrett

The props manager and a Vietnam Veteran. He's hardened, grizzly, subtly frightening and possibly insane. He's not a bully or mean but because of his aura, the only person willing to tell him to do anything is Parker.

Brown

The lead cop. He's clearly the leader, due to his stereotype dialogue, and by the book attitude.

Christoph

Christoph is an almost. He is Toni's father and a veteran director nominated three times for a Tony but never got one. He's now a critic and owns the theater. In the latter part of his life he has resigned to become a critic. He's very full of himself, pretends to be British because he wants to be, and is trying to relive his glory days through his daughter.

Claire

The show's new actress and Helena's understudy. She is young and talented with a touch of naiveté. She is easily both optimistic and depressed, and the embodiment of the Chinese curse, "may you find everything you're looking for." She's old friend's with Addison and he got her the audition that led to her being here.

Clarence

The head usher and a nerd. He has recently become inspired to rise up in society and is testing it by organizing the ushers toward a common goal. The power goes to his head he continues trying for more and more…and again… he is a nerd.

Flunky

A member of Helena's entourage. Identical to Sycophant and Lackey. All put up with Helena because they want the limelight of the job, but could do without Helena.

Frank

A newish actress. This is her first really big show and she's nervous. She has one showstopping monologue near the end of the play but she can't memorize it which makes her stressed, which makes it harder to memorize it, which makes her stressed, which makes it harder to memorize it, which makes it…

Giralto

The show's conductor. He puts up with everyone as little as possible and keeps his sentences short and to the point to get himself away faster.

Helena

A diva. She's rude, biting, full of herself, and a handful. She is no longer the brightest and newest talent on Broadway, but she's not old news either. She's in that in-between stage, and it she doesn't like it. While rehearsing she injures herself and this puts her out of commission, but she refuses to take this lying down.

Ian

The sound engineer and a bit of a slacker. He likes his job but you'd never know it. More deadpan than Ben Stein.

Keith

The lighting technician and a kiss up. He knows that Parker is in charge and he wants Parker to know that he likes working with him. Never misses a chance to show Parker that he respects his authority.

Lackey

A member of Helena's entourage. Identical to Sycophant and Flunky. All put up with Helena because they want the limelight of the job, but could do without Helena.

Lil

The low member of the running crew totem pole which means she gets asked to help with everything. She enjoys her job and is very exuberant at it.

Lou

The leader of the running crew. She knows her job and resents the other stuff that she has to do.

Louis

The smart cop. Has a tendency to over think but she's Brown's right-hand man.

Nicholas

The rookie cop. Eager to please and a bit foolhardy. Enjoys the action aspect of the job and sees himself as a renegade cop.

O'Leary

The veteran cop. He could've been promoted long ago but likes the beat. Feels like he's seen everything and consequently keeps a clear head on his shoulders in the most dire of circumstances.

Parker

The stage manager. He is a theater veteran and the person Toni most relies on. He runs a tight ship, and is a hard worker. Due to his experience, he sees himself as a mentor to Toni and tries to help her as much as possible with whatever. While he tries to be fair and holds no "serious" contempt for the cast and crew, he sometimes comes across as stern and more logical than emotional. He likes and appreciates his assistant.

Pete

The psycho cop. He had an incident last year that he loves to talk about but the story changes everytime and frequently makes no sense whatsoever. He's obviously unhinged, so he has a sheriff's badge and his gun is made of wood.

Sam

The actor's voice of reason. She's been in the business a long time and doesn't put up with drama, doing all she can to stop this. She likes working with younger actors because she dreams of getting out of the acting game and starting an acting school and sees this as practice.

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes.

Steven

A method actor and like most method actors, he's not fully right in the head. He gets into character and stays there until the last curtain call of the last show.

Sycophant

A member of Helena's entourage. Identical to Flunky and Lackey. All put up with Helena because they want the limelight of the job, but could do without Helena.

Toni

A new director and Christoph's daughter. Toni has gotten many opportunities due to her father's influence, but is trying to step into her own as a director, because she doesn't like her father's methods. She thought she was ready for anything and was taking the show in stride but she learns she needs to find her inner director.

Usher

One of Clarence's followers. A nerd…no really…a N-E-R-D.

-T.J. Mercer, James Legg